As I write this, I am just a few days shy of my two month wedding anniversary! Wedding planning is no easy feat. Along the way, I wrote down lessons, tips, tricks, and things to avoid all together during the planning process. After all, the wedding is more than just a party; it’s about your decision to love and fully share your life with favorite human.

Don’t overcommit to DIY.
It’s really cute to think you can DIY your entire wedding after looking through hundreds of picturesque Pinterest posts. Along with the creative talent it takes (which I for one do not have,) to pull that off, the time commitment alone is not one you’re going to want once you get deeper into the planning process. A great money-saving alternative is to DIY your bridal shower instead! Less work, a small time commitment, and most importantly—not even close to the pressure of a DIY wedding.
Invest in photography.
Before getting married, one of the first things my family told me was to invest in good photography. The planning process seems like it goes on forever, but when it comes to your wedding day, it’s an absolute whirlwind. Being able to look back at your entire day documented with photographs that capture your personality and warmth of your special day is the best gift you can give yourself. I recommend an all-inclusive package that includes engagement photos; being able to enjoy a meet and greet session with your photographer is a really great way to help you feel more comfortable on your special day! If you are Michigan based, check out Intricate Exposures.
Think beyond the party.
Contrary to popular 21st century belief, marriage is more than just the party you throw. Soak in the moments at the altar, or wherever you choose to get married or elope. Take in the moments of getting ready, and the last time being with your friends and family before you’re married. Don’t go too over budget on the party, because “after party” called marriage is what truly matters. Think about the values you and your partner hold close and center your day around those things.
Exhale the bullshit.
Let’s get real for a second, everyone has some family drama, and weddings are a breeding ground for drama. Leading up to our December wedding, I was stressed with making sure everyone else was happy, and worried too much about what others would say about my own wedding. Fast forward to the first few days after our wedding, and I felt like I had been hit with a tornado of wisdom and experience. We both said, “I can’t believe we stressed so much over X, why did no one tell me about Y, omg did Z really happen?!” At the end of your wedding day, all that matters is you and your significant other—no one will care about X, Y, and Z in a few years, so don’t let it waste your once-in-a-lifetime moments.
It’s okay to break tradition.
The world has changed a ton since most of our family members got married. The traditional bouquet toss, garter removal, and bridal party slow dance have started to become obsolete—and thank god, honestly. It’s okay to say “no” to some of these traditions at your reception. If you’re feeling creative, replace the old with the new. Introduce a fun, group bridal party dance instead of the dreaded one-on-one. y
Remember what’s important.
The more you let go of the small details, intricate schedules, and unknowns the days leading up to your wedding, the better time you and the people around you will have. At the end of the day, if you’re married to your soulmate, everything went according to plan.
Don’t have shitty food.
If there’s anything your guests will remember most about your wedding, it’s the food. Don’t cut corners or trim the budget here; indulge and ask yourself—is this “typical wedding food” or is it great food?
Work with good people.
When looking for wedding vendors, it’s important you pick the ones that make you comfortable, not necessarily what worked for a friend or coworker. Go to a salon you trust and have loyalty to. Hire a makeup artist who understands your vision. Work with a photographer who makes you feel like a friend, not a paycheck. Hiring the right people for your special day is truly my most helpful advice that will give you some ease on a day filled with chaos.
Where I went wrong: Not hiring a day-of coordinator.
If you’re anything like I was pre-wedding, you’re underestimating the amount of day-of help you’re going to get from your vendors; specifically your venue. Since it’s not necessarily the venue’s job to setup the little details of your reception, you’re going to have to find a small group (and again, I’m emphasizing small) of people to make sure the guestbook, gift table, cake accessories, and other last minute details are perfect. Trying to rush and figure out a timeline that’s going to work for your reception setup, and your team of help is an added stressor that can be easily eliminated with some day-of help.
While it’s great to designate these tasks to family and friends, it can be stressful for both you and your team of help. Especially since you want them to enjoy all of the wedding festivities! I recommend hiring a day-of-wedding coordinator. Take my advice and remove some stress off of both you and your family/friends on your wedding day.
Set your intentions and stick to them.
Naturally, one of the first questions you’ll be asked as a newly engaged couple will be: “So where’s the wedding?” If you keep in mind that this is the first of about a hundred difficult decisions, it’s important to step back and evaluate with your partner. Come up with a short written list of venue options, and then use your list as a balancing system. We used this idea for several of our decisions and it helped keep us aligned with each other! This not only gave us clarity, but it made the decision making process seamless, and stress-free. We had driven by a few venues shortly after we got engaged, but ended up picking the first venue we booked a tour at!
Expect things to go wrong.
If you approach your wedding day and the events surrounding it with the expectation of a few things not going according to plan, you will not be a bridezilla. If you don’t, I’m not quite sure what to tell you. Things are going to happen, no one is perfect. By preparing yourself for a few mishaps here and there, you’ll be much happier approaching the situations with ease.
Take mental pictures.
The day after our wedding, my husband and I looked at each other and both said, “I can’t believe it’s over.” You spend so much time being anxious, planning, and running around like a crazy person the week of your wedding that when it’s finally that day and your hard work pays off—it feels like a dream. Your wedding day is probably the most overwhelming you will experience to date. Remember the episode of The Office when Jim and Pam get married and promise each other to take mental pictures of their day? Do it. Enjoy yourself, breathe, and don’t take any of those small, special moments for granted.